I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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