btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it glows. i had to have it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
