i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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