Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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