Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): look no pants http://tfl.nu/j078
  Replies (4) Good night (1685) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly http://tfl.nu/cj2d
  Replies (39) Good night (997) Bad night (10299)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs. http://tfl.nu/eq7w
  Replies (40) Good night (3955) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You are the reason we need health care reform

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger (708): You are the reason we need health care reform http://tfl.nu/m8x5
  Replies (55) Good night (3038) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido" http://tfl.nu/7omt
  Replies (27) Good night (1697) Bad night (4730)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know. http://tfl.nu/7et1
  Replies (12) Good night (2494) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes. http://tfl.nu/lvfu
  Replies (3) Good night (2195) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street. http://tfl.nu/q2es
  Replies (3) Good night (2929) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers. (1-509): You had me at shuffleboard and strippers http://tfl.nu/do6h
  Replies (3) Good night (1422) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn
  Replies (1) Good night (1417) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom. http://tfl.nu/ik6d
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/rzvd
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work. http://tfl.nu/msxy
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I wish to strangle

  (310): View more from California

  whoa there darth vader

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I wish to strangle (310): whoa there darth vader http://tfl.nu/ugge
  Replies (0) Good night (767) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue. http://tfl.nu/sj73
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (164)

Randomize