I want to stick my p in your. b.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't put those talents on a resume
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close