She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
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He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.