and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
