I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
