holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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