I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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