i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
