I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
