I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
