whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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