You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize