just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
