im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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