i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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