she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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