I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
