He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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