i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
