I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
