So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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