I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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