so explain again why im purple
no
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
