I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
