I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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