The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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