I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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