Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
