Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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