so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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