Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
