Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
