I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
