On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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