i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think my fart just growled at me.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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