this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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