she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
