That's intense
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
