apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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