What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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