I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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