I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
