That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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