so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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