im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
