Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
