I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
