Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
