Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
