you guys were way drunker than both of me
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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