i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You pole danced in your parka.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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