The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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