i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize