yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My penis needs a shock collar
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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