Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
