I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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