all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
