bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
