YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
