Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
