It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
