Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
