nut hugger
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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