No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
