dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Help. Why am I so naked?
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