Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital