he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.